Its a big house and you might think it is almost quiet and empty. I am looking across at the window and I can see the reflection of the candle flickering. Tonight seems to have changed so much from the years before. How christmas has evolved over time?! When I was little, christmas came at a time when we were relieved of our half term exams and having a two week break before the routine begins along with the new year. Our christian neighbours share festive food with us, as we do with them during diwali. As always, the TV gives unlimited choice of entertainment throughout the day, only this time the advert says it is 'extra' special. Mum prepares something nice as she gets a break from worldly work, but never a break from the house, from the kitchen so to speak.
From my memory, I remember christmas to be simple, yet festive and whether you are christian or non-christian, it is certainly a happy way to bid goodbye to the year that has gone by. But now, christmas has changed so much. Certainly being in a different country adds up to the feeling, yet somehow the focus of the season is seemingly different. I saw christmas decorations being put up in the shop several weeks before the festive season began and oddly enough this only lead to irritation. Is it actually nothing more than a vast commercial enterprise? It seems the more expensive the gift is, the more love you give someone. Certainly there is nothing wrong in giving or exchanging gifts, but what matters is who you share it with and the intention behind it.
For me, this christmas has been the quietest of all. It is not white or snowing outside and it is unusually warm to be 12C at this time of the year. I can hear faint sounds from the TV running below and the candle light keeps me company. As I sit here, I am wondering if I can begin to make my wish list for the new year. The prospect of making one is almost too tempting but the cons seem to outweigh the pros. I was the kind of person who plans everything in the head ahead of time and almost always, I firmly believed that everything will fall into place according to the 'plan'. I only lately realized whether I like it or not, life throws unplanned situations all the time. My sub-conscious self probably would have handled all the then 'unplanned-ness' along the years and queer enough I never truly believed in it. So does this actually mean that I should keep away from making my wish-list for the new year? And in doing so, I keep away from working towards it, or in other words, planning ahead of time to make it come true.
Somehow........my heart says no.
As I sit alone in the candlelight, I silently make my wish list . I have been told that this is the season of love and forgiveness and the best gift one can give at christmas are the ones that money cant buy. And if love really is the greatest gift of all, I wish for it to be patient and kind and rejoice in the truth. I wish for it to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things. The clock is ticking, the candle has almost burnt out and it is christmas day and I hope the spirit of christmas is never truly forgotten. I wish........ faith, hope, forgiveness, compassion and most of all love always lives in our hearts and is remembered.
Merry Christmas ! (..and dont stop wishing)
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