Greetings on a winter noon! First of all, did you re-read the post title again? If you did- well done !
Finding the humorous side of everything is something I have been trying to do recently more often than not. Sometimes when you are too busy growing up, too busy planning for life, you tend not to notice the little things that would make you smile, the little things that usually didnt matter at all.
Its has only been couple of months of blogging and I am already finding the simple pleasures in it. Surprising, yet true. I find this is a simple way of exploring my thoughts and sharing it with everyone. Despite not being worried about people reading it or not, I certainly seem to be fueling something that interests me. And in this process, I hope to find my own inner peace (!)
A certain Hardy D. Jackson said,
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it,
take yourself out of it.”
How many of us manage to do this? - I dont know. When you are tied up in knots, you stop breathing, you stop listening, you stop connecting. To learn to hear yourself, to find out what feels true, to be able to remove the noise and find clarity and to be able to use your own voice is like a massive treasure hunt. Unearthing these inner experiences can bring conflict, confusion, suffering. At the same time, having decided to deal with the tied up knots, having decided to acknowledge and be aware of these aspects, I believe I can also find freedom, wonder, enjoyment, creativity and above all, happiness. As they say, inner peace is revealed 'only' when the inner war ends.
I take inspiration from words and in many ways my world is created by my words. They give voice to my thoughts. They give reality to my existence, they create my own dictionary by replacing that which is limiting with that which is resourceful, fruitful and pours life into me.
When you can simplify life, I feel you can savour the goodness in it. And I suppose the same idea can be applied to various aspects of life - including human relationships, which in most cases are merely made complicated for the sake of making it complicated. After all, arent relationships supposed to lighten up our load and not add to our burden? If it is the latter, why in the world will anyone willingly sign up for it? The trouble is we all get caught up in the knots and never willingly face it or worse be aware of it. This reminds me of a quote I read a while ago, a quote very similar to the famous Einstein shedding his opinion on 'action & reaction', let me see if I can dig it up for you.....
Here you go, Victor Frankl said:
‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’
Whether one accepts it or not, what you can choose is always within your control.
Only when you begin to focus on what you can control, you realise - it always, always, always begins and ends with you !
So here I am, opening up to why I have started to blog and I believe in this journey I can find my inner peace, I can find the most loving place inside me, the soft spot that melts me down and above all -- smile, breathe and move forward slowly.
3 comments:
Hello there, just sharing some thoughts. I have used the anology which I heard from someone else.
There are 2 things about us . First we have feelings, and then we have actions. Very often with most people they go hand in hand. They are very closely tied. There is very little space between stimulus and response.
For example, lets say a person yells at you..even though you didn't do anything wrong. That creates a feeling of anger and resentment. When I say there is very little space between stimulus and response.... Now …..there is a stimulus (being yelled at), which creates a feeling (anger/resentment) and there is a response/ action (let say you screaming back or whatever impulsive dysfunctional response that a person in anger is likely to do). Again, there is very little space between feeling and response..which means that they are a victim to their feelings. If they feel anger and resentment then they act and behave with anger and resentment.
Its kind of a like dog ..when you put food in front of it, the smell/sight (stimulus) provokes the hunger, makes the dog hungry(feeling).. then it responds by eating it. There is no space between the stimulus and response. It is an automatic, impulsive.. pre programmed activity. But we human beings are not like other creatures on the earth. We are not like dogs. We have the ability to transcend the experience of hunger ...or of anger ...or of resentment. We can watch it, observe it and be conscious of it and we can choose an alternative behaviour.
So sticking with the analogy of the dog's response to hunger, if you are hungry, and there is food in front of you, its quite possible for you to choose not to eat that food. An animal cannot do that. Lets say you the food in front of you is “unhealthy” and you have embraced in your life the VALUE of a healthy diet ...(or it may be non veg...when you value being vegetarian) then you can attach your actions to the value of a healthy diet rather than the impulse of being hungry. It is a totally unique ability of a human being. You could then not eat. Because you value your diet more and its stronger than the impulse of hunger...and you might CHOOSE to wait an hour, until you come across healthier food. ---followed in the second post.
-continued from above post.
This anyway is easier said than done. First thing to do is to recognise that there are these 2 parts to you. One is the impulsive part, which is automatic and then there is this ability to override. Although it is an ability of human being, its is not something that comes naturally,..we have the ability to be value driven...principle driven. we need to practise...nurture this ability.
I find that “fasting” literally is one way of actually experiencing the 2 parts of us for real. Experiencing that 2 parts and choosing to exercise the value driven part..is fundamental to being a human being and KEY to a satisfying relationship. (to succeed in a relationship, you need to be able to control those feelings..anger, passion ..whatever they may be)
when you fast for a day without food or drink, after about 12-14 hours...you'll be very aware of the fact that you are hungry. You be able to think about ..observe yourself being hungry..as if its another person. You can feel the impulse of wanting to go to the fridge BUT also experience the other part of you that says..”no..no I don't have to be the victim of that impulse..I can be the master of that impulse and align my actions toward a higher value”. Basically this “fast” gives the ability to tune into your ability to do this.
Most people have so little space between stimulus and response..they don't even realise that they have these ability. The goal of the fast is to widen that space and you are actually calculating your behaviour...choosing your actions. Not just responding to the circumstances around you. When we come across someone who has this ability..its incredible and very inspiring. you feel like this person is centred and they can't be moved..it doesn't matter what's going on around them..it doesn't matter who speaks to them inappropriately, if somebody curses them or someone cheats on them..it doesn't matter what is done TO them..they are not responding to what is done to them.. they are responding to what they value..what is inside of them..their life is guided by faith..principle..self awareness..moral..values..(whatever one chooses to call it) and its not a response to an outside stimulus.
I would like to finish by saying that searching for inner self is the beginning of wisdom :)
Thank you for your response dear anonymous reader. I really appreciate your feedback. I find your final comment on response to any given stimulus rather interesting, i.e., there is no space between stimulus and response. I, for one, am beginning to experiment on the very same 'space' that might exist between the two. Whether one chooses to act for a stimulus within seconds or hours later- it still is response to the very same stimulus. This can become rather subjective and entirely depends on the end user.
Will look forward to hearing more from you enroute to the journey of finding my inner self :)
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